Ayo Aubrey n Wayne actually killed this shit rite here....

Whattup yall its ya boy the Wally Champ aka Thor Almighty. Word yo I had mentioned that I was gon chill wit the Aubrey shit for a minute. Hope yall enjoyed the break. But yo Im bout to bless yalls wit some exclusive shit nahmean. Dont ask how but I was able to get my hands on the latest leak from the Take Care joint tho. I just got the lyrics transcribed by my nigga Alvin from the barber shop. Son came thru for the god so I could bless yall wit summa that potent mongoose venom namsayin. Yalls bout to get ya heads blown back like you jus snorted battery acid. But yo...yalls already kno my opinion on son....but I gotta admit that him n that nigga Wayne killed this shit rite here son. After I heard how they blessed the joint I was like word...yo I respect what son n son is doin rite here. Unfortunately I cant post the link to the music for some legal reasons n shit so yalls gon jus have to use ya imaginations for now aight. Just imagine some shit where the joints kinda flamboyant n uptempo durin the verses but all slow n moody like you listenin to the sounds comin outta a toilet bowl durin the hooks. Shit is crazy tho namsayin! I aint never heard no shit like this before yo. Anyways...yalls take care...

Aight peace.

Heart Throbbing  featuring Lil Wayne

(Drake)

Ahhww......

Young Monay.....

Look.....
I'm like the catch of the day....so you can call me lobster
These fans call me Drizzy......but my friends call me Aubster
Me and Weezy got eachother....no bodyguards, sir
I got him like Whitney...n he like my Kevin Costner
I get plenty money nigga, I dont even need a cent
And I got more lines than this motherfuckin zebra print
Ahhw
Thats a shirt not a blouse, nigga
Plus I come so hard I could make you say ouch niggaaaaaaaahh
Young Money in the buildin
Half of us is grown men, the other half is children
Yeah
I'm on top of the world now
I groom myself well...I could probably show your girl how
Show her how to dress right....tighten up her lacefront
Show her not to wear a tan dress with no beige pumps
Uh
Catch me in Miami
Fresh Dior slippers n a crispy white cami
Wow
Its crazy how time rushed past
Eyebrows lookin like Burt Reynold's moustache
Yeah
And I know ya girl's infatuated
Haters probably curse the day that I was ejaculated
Awwhh
Fake friends sayin we jus glad you made it
And I fuck so many hoes that you can't tabulate iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt
That's why I respect women
I wish I could marry every girl my third leg's been in
Me n Weezy got the O.G. flow
We be ridin stallions nigga, aahhck!! - no rodeo

(Drake singing) Hook:

If ya man don't appreciate what he has...
He's jus blind
He gon lose his mind when he see that you done moved onnnnnn
Girl, you look so fierce
in that outfit
Girl, you look so fierce in that outfit
That Yves Saint Laurent...
Oh, my bad, that's that Isabel Marant
I see you gettin anything you want
but there's only one problem....
I can feel....
my heart....

keeps throbbing

It keeps throbbing

It keeps throbbing

Still throbbing


(Lil Wayne)

*lighter sounds*

Hahahhhahack

Uh

Young Moooola baaaybeeeee

I am a a-li-en, maybe I'm a cybawrg
See me on a motorbike wit bitches in my sidecar
Sorta like a poltergeist, standin on the sidewark
Weezy is that nigga you be hearin on ya iPawrd
My Gawd....call me the accomplice
Son of New Awlins, Drizzay is Tarawnteh's
Don't make a nigga hafta beat ya ass unconcious
I got money stacked to my muthafuckin awwmpits
They say Weezy is a Bastid
Fuck wit Young Money, nigga, that could be disatriss
Ya bitch on my dick, but that hoe got chapped lips
Her friend kinda fly....I just need to get her add-driss
They say Weezy is so masc-ya-line
Break her pussay walls, then toss the hoe a as-pah-rin
Hahahhack!
Yall niggas is frah-dyah-lint
They see Weezy come thru...n they say that's a pimp
Yeah
From Virginia to Nevawdahh
Weezy F. Baby, Young Pinia Collawdah
Hahahha!
Drizzy, pour us that Mescawtah
We gon have a party right now, no praw-blahm
Young Money is the squadron
We dont drink the kool aid nigga, we jus gawr-glin
Im like the general, he the sawr-gent
I got toast rite here, Drizzay where's the marg-arine?!
Hahack!

(Drake singing) Hook:

If ya man don't appreciate what he has...

He's jus blind

He gon lose his mind when he see that you done moved onnnnnn

Girl, you look so fierce 

in that outfit

Girl, you look so fierce in that outfit

That Yves Saint Laurent...

Oh, my bad, that's that Isabel Marant

I see you gettin anything you want

but there's only one problem....

I can feel....

my heart....

keeps throbbing

It keeps throbbing

It keeps throbbing

Still throbbing

It keeps throbbing

It keeps throbbing

It keeps throbbing

Still throbbing

I love you


Bonus: A little Aubspiration to help you get thru life....

P-Tones guide to obtaining summertime autobox

Ayo whattup yalls. Its ya boy Testosterone Tone aka the Wally Champ. We officially 3 days into summer now. You kno these thirsty ass niggas was already out there on the 21st at 12:01 AM wit they canteens filled wit sand n dust ready to try n swindle these broads outta some ass tho right? Word is bond. Theres jus some shit bout the summertime that makes niggas wanna take more than they need...especially when all the shit that dudes want seem to multiply in the summer. For example yo...you notice that when you go to Wendys or Burger King...you order a combo n you usually good right? You get full off that nahmean. But how come when you at a cookout n you see all that shit comin off the grill ya appetite all a sudden seems to be able to accommodate like 7 burgers n a side a ribs? Cos that shit is usually free n obtainable nigga. Free n obtainable ANYTHING makes niggas lose they minds yo.  Muthafuckas will come home wit a baby crib even if they aint got kids JUS COS that shit was left hangin out the back of a movin truck nahmean. N muthafuckas will have that crib sittin in they livin room  wit a stack of magazines n sneaker boxes inside it....jus cos the shit was free son. So when the merchandise is some shit niggas actually DO want forreal forreal...niggas jus act a fool son. Free shit is like heroin to summa yall niggas. When you combine the power of free shit wit minimal work tho...that shits like a winnin lotto ticket to a nigga.  Lucky for yall bargain hunter ass niggas....shortcuts to gettin that speedbox DO exist namsayin. The technical term is "autobox" also known as "instabox" nahmean. There are several ways you might come across this phenomenon son. Imma jus list a few. You gotta be careful to follow the techniques carefully tho or you could end up wit "scenic route-box"....also known as "slow motion-box" nahmean. The worst case scenario might be you end up wit some unwanted "permabox" tho. If you see any a that shit on the horizon you might need to abort ya plans n reset ya course for some other hapless broad tho namsayin. Aight then. First off you gotta apply these techniques to what I be referrin to as "easy prey" son. Otherwise you jus complicatin the game plan namsayin. Keep in mind that this shit dont work on broads that dont even be respondin to regular ol shit like "Hi" tho. Ideally you lookin for a broad who:

a) got some low self esteem issues. Namsayin....confidence is a attractive quality in a broad but it dont lead to autobox. Confident broads kno they own value n they jus complicate shit. If you got a choice between two identical brand new cars right....but one might got a couple scratches on the leather n a few stains in the rug that wont come out...you got a 10x better shot at gettin a deal on the "less than perfect" ride than you do wit the one that has practically no flaws nahmean. But ON THE OUTSIDE it jus looks like you pushin the same exact whip. But be careful cos you aint lookin for a broad that be like ready to kill herself n shit either. Low self esteem n self hatred is two whole different things namsayin.

b) is outta the loop. A self sufficient broad is the enemy here son. If she can feed herself she aint gon take ya bait son. If you hear a broad talkin bout how she jus heard Ushers Confessions for the first time n she bout to cop that latest Aaliyah joint...this is a ideal candidate son. The outta the loop broad is prime autobox material namsayin. You put her up on House Of  Balloons or some other shit thats been drivin broads crazy for the last 5 months n you will have that broad throwin panties at you in 15 minutes flat son.

c) laughs a lot. A broad that likes to laugh is basically a car wit the doors unlocked n the keys in the ignition dig? If a chick aint even crack a smile when theres some funny shit happenin or bein said...this is a broad you wanna avoid. Contrary to popular belief tho...broads that laugh a lot aint always dumb. Dumb (or slower) broads dont usually understand shit like jokes or sarcasm namsayin. Dumb broads only laugh at shit like slapstick or American Pie type joints. So jus cos she laugh a lot dont mean she a dumbass...it jus means she vulnerable. 

Once you acquire ya target you jus play it cool n approach her real casual like namsayin. Ask her how she doin...introduce yaself...make convo nahmean. The main thing is you ask questions about her n avoid talkin bout yaself....chances are if you readin this rite now you aint shit anyhow. Make her feel good bout herself. Compliment her namsayin. If she outta the loop then drop those sure shot joints on her....introduce her to that vast galaxy of panty-droppin music thats poppin rite now son. Dont forget that if she a giggly broad you wanna take full advantage of that weakness. Laughter leads to intimate relations. Its as simple as that son. Jokes = strokes. Its like that nahmean. Word. N remember we dont condone no forcin yaself on a broad. You aint Puff so you aint jus gon take that take that take that namsayin. 

Aight peace.

By the way I got some new lists n interviews n shit comin soon. Yall stay tuned for that shit aight. 

Ayo I think a joint from the Carter IV leaked son...

Ayo whattup its ya boy Pretty Tony aka Zeus Hands bringin yall that shit direct from the mighty hammers of Thor namsayin. I cant say how yo...but ya boy was able to get his hands on advance copies of a few joints off that nigga Lil Waynes Carter IV album nahmean. Ayo summa the joints was crazy b...I aint even gon lie. Look like the nigga tryin to get his spot back after that How To Love bullshit son. But yo this joint rite here was incredible g...The god nearly spat out his ziti when he heard this shit yo. Niggas jus kept killin the track n spittin they darts namsayin. Word is bond yo. But I aint wanna fuck that nigga doe up like that so I aint gon jus leak that shit nahmean. But I got my nigga Alvin from the barbershop to transcribe this shit so that yall could at least get a sneak peak at this namsayin...good lookin out par. Anyways I dont even kno what these joints is named cos I aint got no tracklist...n this joint aint got no hook nahmean. But I think they should call this one "Crocodile Sweatsuits" son....cos that shit sound tough namsayin. Word.

Aight peace.

Crocodile Sweatsuits

Lil Wayne feat. Jadakiss, Nas & Shyne

Jadakiss:

If they ask about Kiss, life's ok I ain't deat yet

the Benz got a fridge n microwaves in the head rests

When you actually are great, brother'll stay amazed

So catch me in a R8, the color of mayonaisse

Rockin a blue mink, same one that the gats be in

Chick on my arm lookin like a Kardashian

Catch me ridin a jetski on the Belize coast

With 3 hundred bricks gettin chased by police boats

Niggas might try to rob me, cos the dope is pure as hell

N I'ma catch a battery charge like a duracell

When the tools come out, sorry niggas'll all scatter

Come thru in a 'Rari, same color as gall bladders

Might push a Autobot, or a Decepticon

Plus I get that paper thats the color of leprechauns

Its J to the muah, no homo, forever stay

Catch me in a Phantom the same color as pepper spray

In-ter-ior the same color as Corn Flakes

I keep it rock hard like the niggas in porn tapes

No homo, dont get it twisted fam

I come thru in a Lambo the color of Christmas ham

Ya chick might force herself not to admire Jase

Cos the Porsche got a bear skin rug n a fireplace

I been had money, headin toward killer rich

The Garage startin' to look like the import dealership....ahaaaaaaa!

Nas:

Through the finest coochies n buttholes, Nas will forever touch those

The kid's Gucci ruffles while bitches lookin' to fuck yo

NY to down south, where they use to whip Tobey

QB Wan Kenobi, in the projects I holds heat

The don is back, left my Fila rack at the laundromat

Eatin' shrimp scampi wit mobsters while y'all dine wit rats

Barbara Walters interviews, y'all too miniscule for my tennis shoes

Been around the world, n still the illest dude

What the bloodclot, that little nigga from that went from

...sellin' in these drug spots to felony mugshots

To smashin' these Penelope Cruz bitches, it's too vicious

The Q-Bridge is where my fam n crew visits 

The kid done popped bottles wit Farrakhan n smoked haze

wit my fella Mandela....yall still been amazed

I'm like Martin Luther Corleone, intelligent gangsta

Peaceful revolutionist, I never go bankrupt

Militant minded, but got time still to grind wit

purdy women, they love the kid - watch my divine-ness

I shine wit the sword of Moses, chop the heads off a dead roses

do this for the pimps, hustlers, n hoes's

And that aint all, yall know the kid humanitarian

I do this for dead babies, crackheads n Nigerians

aliens, mothers, bitches gettin' cesareans, 

waitresses, models n other wild barbarians...

Shyne:

Fuckin wit ...

Moshe Leviy...y'all get opened easy

Heard "shalom" on the phone when I spoke to Weezy

He said these niggas sayin Shyne's a meshugener 

Oy vey iz mir! Think these niggas is shooken up

Went from cookin' up,  flippin' bricks, n zippin' up

Now I jus flip thru the Torah, Talmud n Mishna

Moshe's the commissioner, y'all niggas is yentes

But niggas only ran they mouths when I was sent up

Y'all got some chutzpah to think y'all can touch da

level I have, but I wish you hatzlachah

Y'all know that Shyne is the truth, whether I'm in the the booth 

or havin' a blintz with some baba ghanoush

Niggas been had wars since Sodom n Gomorrah 

Fuck wit Po, I light this bitch up like menorahs

Think cos I fucks wit halachah that I won't duel you?

But I'm still gangsta, dont let the yamaka fool you

Still see me in the club wit these hoes n strong liquor

I still puff that smoke, but I chill on Yom Kippur

Still got my ties to the mob, I'm among skippers

Still put a bullet in ya stomach, lungs or liver

Imma bury y'all niggas, that's why I keep my weapons

even at the synagogue, won't catch me schleppin'

Really tho, r-r-r-really tho, I'm the boss

Y'all niggas think its Shabbat (gunshots)......mazel tov

Lil Wayne:

*lighter sounds*

Mmmm...Young Muhnehh....

Ya diiiiig....

Guess what the cat dragged in? I mean the jag-rah

Cash Monay, Young Monay, don't need no Viagra

Nigguhs think they hot....I'm the muhhfuggin magma

Married to the game, but I'm a muhhfuggin badch-luhh

These niggas aint hard, they jus wanna ag tuhhf

ag tuhhf, yeahhh....actin pussay get ya smahhged up

Spin my own web....hyeahh...call me a tuh-ranch-luhh

You a groupie nigga, join my muhhfuggin fan cluhhb

I'm ballin' while you nigguhs goin bank-ruhhbt

I'ma set sail while y'all still pullin anchors

Thanks bruh.....this is the apocah-lepps

Carry the whole world...you can see it in ma quah-druh-sepps

.....N if life is a box a cho-cuh-letts

I'ma eat the whole fugkin box....like it's broc-uh-leh

Pass me the gun n umma cock it bechk

It'sYoung Tunechi nigguh......I jus chop yuh nehhk

Hyahhck....we dramatic like the op-er-uhhs

Niggas cain't see us wit magical bin-ach-u-luhhs

...Get ya ass dropped like a hockeh puck

Catch me on the Dow Jones, muh stock is up

........N this here is my house

The booth is my fiance, the game is my spouse

Hoes gimme milk, I ain't gotta the buy cows

I'm half of Drake's forehead nigguh.....I browssse.....

The 3rd Annual 10 Softest Niggas In The Game

Ayo whattup yall its ya boy Tony Starks aka The Black Bolo Yeung aka Volcano Hands Deini nahmean. Its that time a year again when we discuss all the softest niggas in the game namsayin. Word is bond. Yall already kno how it go. We gon push the reset button on this one tho nahmean. So that means that even if a nigga was featured in the 1st n 2nd  lists he still eligible to be mentioned on this list namsayin. Cos theres jus some muthafuckas that need to be recognized for all they efforts n they talents more than others son. So on that note...

10. Drizzy Drake

Surprise niggas! Ya boy Young Angel is bizzack like he forgot his lip balms. Ayo yall remember the reactions niggas had when they seen those pictures that the nigga Jay-Z threw up on the Summer Jam screen of Prodigy dressed up like Mike Jackson? Niggas looked at that shit like it was pictures of son doin cartwheels in a bikini yo. Niggas thought that niggas career got dealt a deathblow wit that shit nahmean. N maybe it did kinda shake my nigga up namsayin....I dont know. But in the meantime this merry little muthafucka right here got pictures of hisself sittin on broads laps n more pictures of hisself embracin other dudes than any nigga known to man...n he STILL goin on wit life like that shit all good. Cos aint nobody SHOCKED when they see the sus nigga wit liquid vagina flowin thru his veins doin that shit namsayin. Niggas practically EXPECT that shit from son namsayin. But when you compare the MJ costume to this Farnsworth Bentley of Middle Earth look....you really cant see nothin that wrong wit the Prodigy pictures no more son. Either way...when it comes to Aubs you are lookin at the most softboiled creature on Gods green earth yo. This niggas music is so light in the ass that if you look real close at ya speakers when you playin his joints you can see tiny little heart bubbles comin outta em son. 

9. Big Sean 

I buy a lot a music son so it aint unusual for Tone to end up coppin shit n then givin it away or throwin it out the window while Im drivin n shit namsayin. I try to give niggas a chance. I even held this niggas cd in my hand n looked at it like I dont kno.... should I drop 8 bucks on this shit n give son a clean slate? I ended up puttin it down n coppin the Curren$y joint after I came back to my senses n shit tho. But I ended up hearin it anyway namsayin. To be honest wit yalls...I was kinda  feelin most those beats. But I cant get past this niggas rhymin yo. What really had me shakin my head n questionin the niggas sanity was son had the nerve to call those bars he spit on the BET awards wit them other g.o.o.d. music niggas the "verse of the year". Like forreal forreal....this nigga is outta his fuckin mind son. Nigga said in plain english "tell me that wasnt verse of the year" on his So Much More joint.  That shit wasnt even the verse of that cipher son....nevermind year! Its possible that the only nigga that didnt spit nicer bars was Kanye. But I think that nigga Ye actually went off the head wit summa that shit. To make shit even worse tho the nigga Kanye recently said "What Beyonce is to R&B...Big Sean can be to rap." That is a quote son. In reality this nigga aint got a original bone in his body so he aint gon ever be the Beyonce of rap....but how his own boss comparin him to broads yo? Yeah yeah I kno niggas heard sons supa dupa shit n ran wit it...................... baton. But other niggas was doin that shit when Medium Sean was still a fetus anyways yo. Go ask Sean Price. Either way tho....it aint like I hate this nigga. But he need to stop the diva shit n all the talk bout wantin to be famous n jus make some decent music or some shit nahmean.

8. Kanye West

Now I got nothin but love for the nigga Yeezy nahmean. I jus wanna make that shit very clear yo. Son is a genius n he a muthafuckin animal when he get in the studio namsayin. That nigga will bite the head off a dove when he in the booth son. Son aint really the most lyrical nigga on earth like that...but he got a lot of heart n charisma namsayin. Nevermind what that nigga do when he behind the boards son....I aint even gotta tell you he gets busy g. I love this niggas music son. BUT this muthafucka done put on womens garments one too many times to not get called out for it son. This niggas drivin his gender mobile in the middle of the freeway wit no regards for which way the traffic is goin AT ALL b. This nigga aint jus gon be rockin the entire Chanel spring collection n not catch no flack for that shit nahmean. The nigga dont only throw on a couple questionable accessories here n there tho...he actually dresses straight up in shit that was designed for broads like he jus dont give a fuck namsayin. I cant condone that shit son. I been known to rock some elegant shit from time to time too son but this nigga done put the flame back in flamboyant yo. That shit aint even unisex my nigga. Cmon son. Crossdressin aint fly son. Fuck is you doin Ye?

7. J. Cole

Now before all yall Cole stans who been lookin past this nigga's boring ass songs for years start cryin over this shit like you in a Trey Songz video....hear me out yo. I kno the nigga can spit. I kno he got a couple dope production wins under his belt too. But despite all that....its like this niggas been readin from Memphis Bleek's book on '100 Ways To Fail Even When Ya Mentor Is The Biggest Nigga In Hip Hop' all this time son. Also why this nigga always gotta have a facial expression lookin like somebody jus stole his bike n shit? Is this nigga capable of a genuine moment of happiness yo? I dont think so son. This niggas own shadow gets depressed from hangin round his bitter ass. But when he do try n make some party type shit for the broads that shit jus ends up soundin unnatural as fuck anyway. For example the niggas got absolutely no clue what he spose to be doin on shit like Work Out. Son was like...."Uhhh...bitches love old Paula Abdul shit...Imma jus sing some old Paula Abdul shit rite here..." n lost his composure all over that shit yo. Lets jus accept the fact that the nigga is too emotionally delicate to pull this shit off. Son aint the second comin of Nas like niggas was hypin him up to be. Nas was on like 4 joints before he dropped. his first album.  2 of those shits ended up on Illmatic. Illmatic had 10 tracks. 1 a those tracks was a intro. You see where Im goin wit this? This nigga got like 40 to 50 joints out n his label still aint NOWHERE ready to drop a album based off what he givin em. I wanna see this nigga win but its lookin like he need to call his next mixtape False Alarm. Tone feels ya pain Jigga. 

6. Lil Wayne 

I aint never really had no problems wit Weezy namsayin. But son is forcin niggas hands yo. We see pictures of son french kissin Baby....niggas pardon that. He allows Nicki Minaj to release music n hop on remixes 5 times a day for the last 2 years...niggas pardon that. He allows wack ass Gudda Gudda to continue to eat....niggas pardon that. Drake............we pardoned that. He even puts out a bullshit ass "rock" album.....n niggas pardoned that too. But when that nigga set foot in the booth to croon a ballad called "How To Love"....n expected niggas to really not take offense to the shit he was doin....ayo Wayne we got problems now son. Somebody needs to go stomp the braids off this niggas head yesterday son. This shit is NOT okay yo. How you gon jus out-soft that nigga Drizzy anyway? I thought yalls was family nahmean. You kno damm well thats ya boys lane. But you even took it further than him. I mean that nigga Aubrey got his own set of feminine tendencies to cope wit but he aint never sat down n sang a whole fruity ass love ballad over some Wyclef bathin in the waters of his idols type guitar chords n shit son. You really went too far nigga. Son you was a animal back in like '04 to '07.  Bring back that nigga or some shit son. 

5. Soulja Boy 

Aka the 2011 Mr Bojangles. This nigga also deserves recognition as the coon of the decade namsayin. I dont even kno how muthafuckas listen to this niggas music....nevermind callin that shit hip hop. If it was 1930 this nigga would be rockin a necklace made of chicken legs n pigs feet n be tap dancin on watermelons for a livin. Anyways...sons music is only technically hip hop....like drinkin a beer wit a straw n a umbrella in the bottle is technically drinkin a beer namsayin. Hidin behind 50 Cent wont protect you from ya own bitchassness tho son. This nigga been germinatin in the garden of wackness for a hot minute now. This nigga done splashed hisself wit enough water from the fountain of coonery to last 12 lifetimes. Stop givin this nigga a pass jus cos he young. Muthafuckin Run DMC was around this niggas age when they made King Of Rock yo. LL Cool J was on his first comeback when he was this niggas age yo. NWA made Fuck The Police when they was this niggas age son. You cant hide behind youth forever you clown ass muthafucka. If I see you Imma smack the slaves outta you nigga. Its open season on you son. 

4. Bow wow

This nigga rite here is a human bellybutton son. The only form of touch this nigga is capable of is a caress namsayin. Fuck outta here wit the fake Nino Brown shit too you shrimp cocktail ass nigga. This little muthafucka jus refuses to let his career die wit some honor or dignity nahmean. Word is bond this nigga is his own worst enemy too yo. The last time anybody took this nigga serious Lil Kim was still mostly made of human body parts son. Callin this nigga a clown would be givin him too much credit nahmean. If I see the nigga Imma slap his head n torso off his legs. Word is bond. Ayo Bow Wow you better stay ya bitch ass out the gods way son. If I see you Imma throw all 80 pounds of you as far as I can off the top of a buildin n then run down the stairs n hop in my whip n chase you as you flyin across the sky n hit you wit my car jus as you bout to land n then smash the whip into a brick wall son. You been warned son.

3. Tyga  

This nigga looks like a transgender Vietnamese prostitute that got abducted by aliens n was cloned but never really finished the process of turnin hisself  into a actual human n shit so he came out lookin like he do...but he still part alien n only kinda human lookin now namsayin. Or some shit like that. Son looks like Wiz Khalifa n Dennis Rodman's love child or some shit son. But that aint even the problem wit this nigga g. This niggas music sounds like shit you hear when you see a geisha twirlin ribbons in the air n shit namsayin. To top it all off the nigga be lookin more suspect than two niggas sharin a hot dog from opposite sides n meetin in the middle nahmean. Am I the only one thats seein this shit? Son looks like a fuckin lesbian yo. The nigga probably marinates hisself in lotion for hours when he gets home son. Why is this nigga even here yo?

2. Yung Berg 

Callin this nigga a failure is not givin him enough credit namsayin. Straight up. Technically this nigga has already mastered failure n moved on to the level that comes after failin tho. Son has evolved past bein a regular failin ass nigga. This nigga has developed his own science when it comes to that shit....its "quantum failure" nahmean. This nigga can fail without even bein awake yo. Son can fail in a dream n bring that shit back wit him to his conscious state namsayin. The nigga can inception fail his way thru life. The nigga can find the fail buried 4 levels deeper under the failure that you actually see. The nigga can fail about 78 times per heartbeat g. In fact by the time you finish readin this sentence the nigga will have failed approximately 468 times namsayin. This nigga is usin methods of failure that niggas aint even seen since the ancient Mayans n Egyptians was on earth still yo. This nigga is usin approaches to failin that brought upon the destructions of entire ancient civilizations son. Think its a game yo? This nigga takes his failure very fuckin seriously son. He dont want no failures happenin unless he involved. No chains snatched...no faces smacked...no nothin. A nigga falls off his bike in the park....he wants IN. 

1. The many sides of Drake 

This is a conflicted nigga rite here. If this aint a nigga wit a identity crisis I dont kno what is namsayin. First you got the Drake thats like the Taio Cruz of hip hop. The nigga got the most bitchmade voice on earth so its not like it takes son much effort to go FAM (Feminine As a Muthafucka) on a track. But then you look again n the niggas hollerin soo woo n twistin his fingers in all sortsa stupid ways while he takin a picture wit Jeezy. Then you hear the nigga promisin to wife any broad that glances in his general direction in a song. Then theres Drake who dont give a fuck bout a bitch or a hoe. Then theres Drake who will snuggle up in a broads lap n fall asleep. We all kno who the real Drake is but son wants to have his cupcake n eat it too namsayin. First off this nigga had approximately zero male role models in his household to look up to while he was growin up. So it aint came as no surprise to his moms when son had a Jack Sparrow walk n stuck his pinky out when he held his teacups. Son  probably weighs about 190 or 200...n at least 50 of those pounds gotta be due to female hormones alone yo. But aint nobody mad at the nigga for all that effeminate shit. That cornball shit aint the facade. Its the fake ass shit that niggas cant look past namsayin. Ayo son...will.i.am. is a corny nigga too. That nigga Travie McCoy a corny nigga. Even Will Smith is a corny nigga. But those dudes stay in they own lane. They jus some pop niggas. So nobody got problems wit em. Even Nelly accepted that he was better off livin his life as a pop nigga n stopped talkin bout street sweepers n blowin weed in his hooks namsayin. But them dudes dont represent US as a culture like that. If this nigga wanna step up n be the face of hip hop n talk bout how he gon follow in the footsteps of niggas like Jay-Z then he better rep the culture correctly. Otherwise he need to take his Febreze-garglin, B-throwin, hoe-savin, bubblegum R&B ass home son. That bein said....

THE FIRST INDUCTEE INTO THE SOFT NIGGA HALL OF FAME IS..........

 AUBREY DRAKE GRAHAM

Congrats to that nigga. He earned it namsayin. Before I wrap this shit up tho I jus wanna say that these little niggas need to stop talkin nonstop bout makin it someday n becomin successful n bein famous n all that nahmean. Niggas thats true to they hearts bout what they do jus make they art however they wanna make it son. The fame n all that is jus the benefits that come along wit stayin true to yaself. Eybody that raps wanna be famous n get money yo. Its been that way since Sugar Hill son. But niggas like Big Sean n that nigga J. Cole followed in the footsteps of that diva nigga Drake n made that shit the subject of half they songs yo. Cmon son. Niggas dont need to hear bout all that bitterness n that "Im bout to get on" shit on half the joints you makin n shit nahmean. Smarten up little niggas.

Support that real hip hop yall...

Ayo whattup son its ya boy Starky Love aka Theodore Dini. Son I been walkin across the deserts barefooted to bring yall niggas the jewelz nahmean. Ayo I be givin yall the air from the gods lungs to keep yall breathin namsayin. These niggas is out there throwin rhinestones in the air n shinin off another niggas mirrors n shit namsayin. Ayo niggas is jackin they shine off another niggas chandeliers nahmean. But you already kno how ya boy do it. Niggas aint flickerin over here son. Niggas is infernos g. We aint jus sparkin in the fryin pan like that yo. Niggas is buildin empires son. Word is bond yo....understand what niggas is tryin to build son. I be givin yall niggas pyramids. You got little bum ass niggas out there thats buildin you sand castles next to the ocean son. We buildin pyramids over here son. It aint a game pa. Ayo son I slayed a hundred minotaurs when I was dwellin thru the deserts nahmean. Ayo a minotaur approached the god n said he wanted to hear that watered down soft ass rap music namsayin. He said he wanted to hear that new Mac Miller joint son. The nigga said he wanted that Wiz Khalifa Apple Juice n Pajamas joint son. The nigga said his favorite rapper was Chris Brown yo. He said he wanted to hear J Cole drop more classic singles like he been doin. He said he wanted Lupe Fiasco to make more joints like Lasers. Ayo I was offended by the nigga so I stepped on that niggas plateau namsayin. The minotaur was sent to destroy what niggas had built son. He had 99 other minotaurs wit him nahmean. Ayo ya boy looked up to the skies n I asked that nigga Zeus to strike these niggas down wit his lightning bolts but the nigga said nah...he said "Yo you gotta handle this shit Tone". He said "Ayo Tone these niggas isnt worthy opponents for a nigga such as yaself...Imma need you to ga head n handle these niggas like that son" namsayin. Ayo the god was hurt son. The god was saddened namsayin. Tears burst out my wig son. I felt as tho Zeus was turnin his back on the god in his moment of needs namsayin. The minotaur looked at the god like fuck you gon do now son? Nigga thought the god was gon be shook but I took my staff n I smashed it into the sand n I said "Ayo you shall not pass" namsayin. The minotaur was breathin fire out his mouth n his nostrils n he tried to catch the god wit a right but the god slipped the jab n I proceeded to work the rib cage nahmean. The minotaur was shellin up n the other minotaurs started movin in. The god was throwin nothin but haymakers son. The god fought for 7 days n 7 nights namsayin. I slayed the minotaurs for hip hop son. So if a nigga wanna approach me on some wild shit like he wanna fade the god the nigga gon be bleedin outta holes that the Lord aint even put on his body namsayin. I aint playin wit these little niggas son. Niggas wanna rap like broads. These niggas could pull a bouquet of flowers out they ass son. Niggas is jus suppose to hand over the crown to these little niggas tho? Ayo fuck these little niggas son. Niggas paved the way for yall jus so yall could sprinlke glitter all over the sidewalks? Nah yo. But I appreciated what Zeus did son cos it made Tone stronger son. N when I had slayed the minotaurs a golden chariot wit 40 lions appeared before my eyes son. I seen the shit appear before my eyes n I walked over to it n I saw the clouds above open n I could hear the angels singin son. Niggas knew that ya boy had triumphed over evil namsayin. It began to rain sapphires n the ground was covered in rose pedals son. I turned the stereo in the chariot up n it was playin "Its Yourz" nahmean. I had the joint turned up as I rode across the desert back to Staten. What yall niggas kno bout that tho. We livin the gladiator life over here son. Niggas is barbarians. We do this for hip hop son. Imma blast one a yall little gargoyle ass niggas outta ya 510 Levis n smack the shit outta ya corpse. While yall niggas is wakin up n havin ya little Sanka n ya little cereals n shit...thinkin bout where you gon be plankin later today....the god is out there helpin keep hip hop alive nahmean. Yall niggas go crawl back to the spa yall emerged from n leave this shit to the niggas that respect the culture. Ayo fuck these niggas son.

Aight peace.

 "He just snaps and gets into a zone and starts writing. Sometimes he doesn't even say nothing he just goes, Ugh! Ugh! He gives me a grunt and it's a wrap from there. You just know." By the way ...this is how that nigga Boi-1da describes workin wit Drizzy. Its kinda hard to understand why son starts out talkin bout rhymin n somehow by the end he sounds like he talkin bout hittin that niggas g-spot. But thats the quote son.

Ayo you can ask Tone anything now ma!

Whattup yalls its ya boy P-Tone aka Ironman Starks namsayin. In case yall aint heard I got a little column happenin over at C.O.P. Magazine nahmean. Yall niggas relax cos this blog gon still be poppin n all that. But I got child support n car notes to pay son... so you kno a nigga gotta stay on his grind. What I be doin is givin advice to broads n snappin em out they hypnotic mindstates n shit namsayin. Word. Tone jus gettin started too son. Im gon keep expandin the empire n have some more shit bubblin in the labs for yall niggas. A nigga gotta keep his hands smashin these mountains namsayin. Ayo I seen a bear walkin in the forest n it said "Ayo Tony what we gon do son? Who gon hold down the woodland creatures n shit god? We gon need those fish n berries son!" Word is bond. Theres niggas out there that get they jewelz from ya boy. But I gotta give that one on one time to these broads too son. But when I aint out there ridin bicycles at the bottom a the ocean tryin to keep the gods body in a healthy state I be crushin coal in my hands to make diamonds son. Ya feel me? Word. One time a nigga asked me why I be makin the types a moves I be makin n I jus smacked the nigga. After that the nigga said he understood where I was comin from nahmean. This is how legends move son. Staten niggas throw niggas off rooftops when we chillin. 

Aight peace.

Yall can peep that shit over here son Ask Big Ghostfase

Whats Beef? Chris Breezy Brown edition

Ayo whattup yall its ya boy P-Tone aka the Mighty Hands of Zeus. By now yall probably been knowin how the Young Ike Turner aka Chris Brown was lettin summa that medium rare beef cook between hisself n them Odd Future niggas n shit. That nigga Breezy mighta felt as tho he got shitted on one too many times by these niggas n decided he was gon take some actions tho. Long story short...that nigga Frank Ocean got caught up nahmean. This shit actually started wit the little nigga Tyler...but somehow shit jus fell in the lap of the only singin ass nigga in they crew. Go figure rite? But yo Its all fun n games til a nigga jus ridin dolo mindin his own business n he get rolled up on n humiliated by a corny nigga's high pitched cousins. Christopher had his little goons chasin son down the road screamin they insults out the window in high F# n shit. Word is bond these niggas could hit soprano notes son. I aint even lyin. I see the talent actually runs in the family n shit son. Now I aint exactly a fan of any these niggas namsayin. But that nigga Frank Ocean kinda do his thing. I fucks wit a couple joints n he seems like he a cool nigga n whatever. Truth be told tho I would rather see son gettin his shine on instead a that muthafuckin toilet bug Breezy namsayin. That nigga jus disgusts me yo. The nigga whole style is more suspect than 2 niggas on a mechanical bull anyway. I jus cant take no emotionally insane nigga like that seriously nahmean. Son has absolutely no grip on his emotions yo. If I ever see that nigga Imma smack him so hard that he gon wake up in another dimension. Imma give the nigga a stargate slap. Son gon wake up under some pyramids lookin up at two Suns n shit. Fuck that nigga. If I saw that nigga walkin down the street wit his family on Christmas Eve singin carols n shit I still wouldnt hesitate yo. I would run up on son wit grenades n explode the nigga in front a his family n shit son. I would blow that nigga up in front a all his little cousins n nephews n nieces n alla that yo. Son is a bitch. I dont even kno how this nigga still sellin music anyway son. No self respectin broad should be able to take this nigga seriously namsayin. We talkin bout a nigga that would probably break all the dishes in the kitchen n kill his pets if he couldnt find the TV remote nahmean. The nigga aint jus a couple chicken wings short of a bucket...he a actual psychopath namsayin.  N nah I dont listen to sons music yo. I dont give one handicapped fuck bout sons songs at all nahmean. I need to hear this niggas songs like I need a Montell Jordan playlist on the iPod son. I need to listen to sons music like I need Snooki to send me nude flicks while Im in jail nahmean. I need this niggas music like I need a Crucial Conflict reunion. I need this niggas songs like I need the Summer 2011 Coogi catalog. You get the idea. Staten niggas dont fuck wit no Breezy period. That nigga is 75% marshmallow.  He got ovaries flowin thru his blood namsayin. If I see the nigga Imma slap a inferno out his ass. Imma blitz that dancin ass muthafucka. Imma tie him to a chair n punt the nigga into the oceans. Fuck this niggas health n his entire life on earth. It aint like I hate the nigga personally. But he gotta go now. Anyway these niggas done squashed they beef over twitter n shit...so there aint really nothin else to see here. Luckily nobody got they skateboard smashed. I wish em all much success. Fuck that beef shit....that shit is played out.

Aight peace.

Exclusive: Game dropped his latest apology song....'Dear Jay-Z'

Dear Jay-Z -  Game


(whispering) Dr Dre.....


Dear Jay...you probably upset bout Uncle Otis
But it ain't that serious, I still think ya one a the coldest
I remember workin on Documentary with Doc
As in D-R-E.....not the homie D.O.C....

'Bout two years after you had dropped the Black Album,
that faggot nigga Fifty jus dropped his first wack album
Me n Doc was in the studio....... makin' a classic...
....the next Reasonbale Doubt, Ready To Die, n Illmatic,

..The Chronic, All Eyez On Me, Wu-Tang Forever,
What's Going On, Purple Rain, n Thriller all mixed together
Dre told me I was the next Rakim....mixed with Pac,
6 years after my nigga Wayne dropped The Block Is Hot

I was tellin' Dre it'd be ill if you would jump on a track
So I got ya number from Em....but you wasn't hollerin' back
I jus figured I aint dial the right number...so I told 'Ye
And I read that number to him.......he said it was OK

So I dialed it again....you picked up, n I was sayin'
"Yo what the deal, playboy..." n you said "who dis, Dame?"
Then I was like "Nah this Game", n you was like "who?"
And I was like "Game"....................n you was like "who?"

I explained who I was n shit...tryna be humble
But a second later, ya musta been drivin' thru a tunnel,
cos the phone got cut off.......so I called back to check it
and I heard "Yeah this Jay, I ain't here, please leave a message"

So I left a message sayin "Yo Jay, it's me again, holla"
I remember cos I called from da homie Snoop's Impala
Then I spit the first verse from 'Moment Of Clarity',
pressed pound n left the message as urgent, cos yo apparently,

I figured you would call me back, n we would laugh about it,
n probably become good friends, n maybe rap about it
But I ain't heard back at all...that kinda upset me
I was thinkin' 'we hit it off on the phone...how he forget me?'

But apparently you was jus usin' me, n you was finished
Like when Caine left cousin Harold in the street, dyin', in Menace
So I spit that line 'bout you on Westside Story
Saw Kanye n asked if he had said hi for me

And whether you had asked 'bout me, he said "sorry"
So I was thinkin 'yo, this nigga Jay might start to ignore me'
Felt like the homie Face.... my mind was playin' tricks on me
Poured a glass of the Henny, thought' a couple sips'd calm me

The same time I left G-unit n got it crackin',
is when Lindsay Lohan left rehab, but had to go back in
What up to Lamar Odom...guess him n Khloe is solid
Heard she use to fuck Rashad McCants, before he holla'd


I was doin some shows out in Europe, but what amazed me
was when I had the whole muthafuckin' crowd screamin "Fuck Jay-Z"
Tried callin' you at home, no answer, like you was mad
Called Just Blaze n he said that he had just left ya pad

So I called da homie Quik, to see if he knew ya email
He said yeah, but he'd call back after gettin' head from this female
Turns out... the chick was his girl Cookie's sister
But she never found out which is good cos she'd be pissed huh?

I was bumpin' that Mobb Deep, Buck was rollin' the weed
When I sent you a couple emails, that I'm pretty sure you received
Cos I checked the status n yup....just like I was hopin'
It said 'messages delivered' n that 4 of them had been opened

This was back before Big Sean blew up...what up Drake?
But you never emailed back...R.I.P. to da homie Nate
Never got a reply at all, Jay............ I was like 'damn...'
'Maybe them shits went to his junkmail or he thought it was spam'

Called Irv Gotti, said "sup with Jay, yo have you heard from him?"
He said "nah, not in like a year", I'm thinkin...'the nerve of him'
Glad Irv got acquitted tho.... he done with the streets
but he still keep a gat in the stash box under his seat

But Jay, you shoulda called, if you had to admit sumthin'
Instead you ignore me even tho I aint did nothin'
But it's cool, n by the way, Fifty, I'm still with you
Fuck the beef, nigga I miss you, n thats just bein' real wit you

Watch for Detox, I been helpin Dre with that one
RED Album is next, might make it a triple album
But like DMX said, yo Jay, get at me dog
And look out for my upcomin' joint, 1000 Bars........DRE!

Big Ghost presents....the latest inductee into the Soft Nigga Hall Of Fame

Ayo whattup its ya boy Tone Starks aka Mighty Tusks namsayin. Ayo the god back wit another inductee for the Soft Nigga Hall Of Fame nahmean. Before we unveil jus who the latest recipient of this honorable distinction is n shit...Imma give you a breakdown of how elevated this nigga pillow game is. This softboiled nigga right here been blazin trails for creamsicle ass niggas all over the world for years now yo. If you think you built  for this soft nigga'rin shit n wanna be amongst the most elite n softest niggas n have that rep for yaself like that....you got a long ass way to go if you aint THIS nigga rite here son. Word bond...this nigga weighs in at approximately 80 lbs n is delicate enough to use to polish the hood of ya car nahmean. You can use this nigga rite here to buff ya hood without scratchin the paint n give that shit a serious luster b. This nigga can shoot a string of lotion outta his wrists like he Spider Man namsayin. Son could find a broad that another nigga done left assed out n roll up n save her before she even has a chance to pull out her phone n air her ex nigga business out via her twitter n her facebook status. This nigga will recycle the fuck outta ya leftovers b. Son will sit at the table next to you at Burger King n not have no food n jus wait for you to finish so he can check to see if any french fries fell onto ya tray nahmean. Then he gon take those fries home in his pocket n wrap them individually in newspaper n have those as snacks for the next week. He gon take pictures wit those fries n write poems bout how tasty they is n shit like that. Basically he gon act like he aint never experienced a got dam french fry in his life n flaunt that shit to the world namsayin. In case you aint figure it out the french fry is like a metaphor for how this nigga is a sucka when it comes to a broad nahmean. Real talk yo. Ever wonder what desperation would look like if it was a livin breathin muthafucka wit a pulse n shit like that? Well you in luck son cos it would look like this nigga rite here yo. Nevermind the fact that son got his coonasizer set to "Mantan" at all times a day...this nigga also makes sucker for lovin a muthafuckin artform yo. The nigga is at the absolute pinnacle of softness b. Son is like the Kobe Bryant of whipped ass niggas.  This nigga jus said "no thanks" when they was handin out dignity at the door n walked rite into a lifetime of wackness n coonery son. Son aint got one cell in his body containin anything close to self respect yo. This nigga got zero decorum or pride or anything else to do wit not bein a bitchass muthafucka. This is jus summa the dumb shit that the nigga done uttered in the short time he been in the public eye yo......

“Being single doesn’t necessarily mean you’re available. Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says ‘Do Not Disturb’ on your heart.”


"Don't go, how to live my life without you, i just don't know...."


“Whenever you call baby I’ll roll up.....”


"@DaRealAmberRose awww baby ur the best little munchy wunchy crunchy girl in the world"

In other words yo....

So without further ado ya man P-Tone would like to present to yalls the newest inductee into the Soft Nigga Hall Of Fame.....

Wiz Khalifa-Rose

Congratulations nigga. You in a class that only the human estrogen shake Aubrey can fuck wit you in. Yall muthafuckas is like the Muhammad Ali n George Foreman of soft niggas. If yall niggas ran towards eachother n collided there would jus be a big splash n both yall niggas would be gone....n all that would be left is a puddle of lotion n some tight ass clothes on the ground n the aroma of turmoil. Anyway I aint got nothin personal against him but Imma probably have to slap the shit outta son jus based off principle alone when I see the nigga. Like I told him before...I might gon have to do some harm to him jus to restore virtue or some shit like that nahmean. So Wiz....Im gon braid ya arms together when I see you son.
Aight peace.